~ Lovemaking as Meditation ~

How can LoveMaking be meditation?

In meditation the mind is given something to focus on sometimes the breath, sometimes a candle flame, sometimes a mantra, a sound you repeat over and over to yourself. These are all techniques to calm the mind and direct the thoughts away from the details of daily life in order to experience a deep, inner peace. Later in the book I will give you several techniques which use the breath and certain muscles and which focus on the energy exchange between you and your partner and help keep the mind present in the moment during lovemaking. Meanwhile, here is a simple technique to start with.

Meditation is Presence

‘Every time you find your mind drifting off or focusing on performance or becoming goal oriented take your attention back to your breathing. ‘I am breathing in.’ ‘I am breathing out.’ Or try co-ordinating your breathing with your partner’s. Follow her breath so you are breathing as one body.’

At first the techniques may seem to be creating the experience, but what is really creating it is your ability to be totally present. Your thoughts and feelings and your experience are all one.

Presence in Lovemaking

Sexual ecstasy happens when you are so thoroughly absorbed in the richness of the present moment that nothing else exists.

What happens for most couples when they make love is that there are four ‘people’ present, not two; you and your thoughts and your partner and her thoughts and those thoughts very often are not on the moment. When you are both focusing on the breath and the energy, both minds are attuned. It is possible to have an experience of being one body, one mind or one breath. The techniques of breath focus and mind focus are very effective in creating a joint meditative experience.

However, many people make the mistake of thinking it’s the techniques that are creating these magical experiences, so they learn more and more mental techniques, adding mantras (sounds) and yantras (visual shapes and colours) and experimenting with all kinds of cycles of energy between each other. Their lovemaking becomes more and more a mind experience in which the whole natural beauty of sexual loving is lost.

Read More, Sexual Secrets for Men, by Kerry Riley