Tantra assists when the passion in love life fades
I know you love your partner but are you ‘in love’ with them? Other couples realise after a few years that they are losing that ‘in love’ passionate sex and they seek help which can be marriage counsellors, books, DVD’s romantic holidays, sexual enhancing, performance drugs, threesomes. All can help different couples use different things at different stages of their relationship, but there’s nothing better than having a Tantric coach to guide you.
There are a lot of people that don’t even try to spice up their sex life. They just go along with their lives and expect their love life will look after itself. Career, money, family and kids become their main concern. Then they wonder why their partner cheated or why there is no passion like before.
Many couples we consult know what they should do but their modern busy lifestyle gets in the way of their good intention. There are two exercises we have found that get the best results in the long term and I think one of the main reasons that they work is that they are simple, they don’t take long.
Exercise 1 is an appreciation exercise. One of the problems of marriage is that often each of us feels that we are not being appreciated for what we do and this is often because we forget to voice our appreciation of love. Commonly we do not realise that we get into the habit of finding what our partner does wrong. We need to make it a daily practice to scan all the things they do and find something they are doing ‘right’ and tell her how much we enjoy it. When was the last time you told your beloved that you really appreciated the meals they cook? That you think he or she is doing a great job with the kids and you really appreciate them organising social events. Try during the next couple of days whenever your partner gives you a suggestion about something, say ‘that’s a great idea’, even though you may not intend to take action at least give them some acknowledgement say ‘that is a great idea, thanks for that, I will consider it!’ or next time she does something that she perhaps does every day such as preparing the meals, say to her I really appreciate the cooked dinner. So often a man takes it for granted that his partner knows he appreciates what he does. Women also often take it for granted that the man knows he is appreciated. Sometimes a women won’t say something because she is still angry about all the things he does that she doesn’t like. Because she never acknowledges him why should he acknowledge her? It grows into a competition for power. As team mates in love we should be empowering each other to feel good, but instead we often get into the habit of fault finding and then only empower each other to feel bad.
A good exercise is to take five minutes out of your day, away from kids and everything else, sit opposite each other, hold hands, put some heart touching background music on, close your eyes and for a minute start thinking about all the things that you appreciate about your partner. Open your eyes and then take turns in sharing five things you appreciate. Your partner simply says ‘thank you’, you say five, then they say five repeat it again, another 5 things, and let this go on for a period of up to five minutes. This is a very powerful exercise but it is almost a waste of time reading this exercise without doing it. It is so simple you may think it won’t make a difference. Do it for a week, see what happens. A lot of men might think this has got nothing to do with spicing up their sex life. That is where they are wrong. It has everything to do with it and you will discover by doing this exercise. Try it for one week soon. If one week is too much even the 30 mins a day will be a huge change!!!
Tantra is not only Tantra Massage, discover more Tantra Secrets with Kerry Riley, Author of International Best Selling Books and co-director of Australian School of Tantra.